I’m *Jaimie*, born and raised in London and for me, loneliness wasn’t about moving to a new place but dealing with life shifts.
In my early to mid-30s, my social circle changed as friends started getting married and having babies, and that wasn’t where my life was at the time.
I’ve also dealt with mental health issues for many years, and I reached a point where I knew something had to change to make my life feel more fulfilling. That change had to start with my social life.
The Need for Connection
For years, I convinced myself I was an introvert because of social anxiety, but deep down, I’ve always been an extrovert who needs people around me. I just didn’t have those people in my life.
Loneliness felt like every day was endless. On weekends, I’d wake up thinking, “I’ve got the whole day ahead of me,” but then I wouldn’t know how to fill it.
By Sunday night, I’d feel disappointment and shame for not having done anything or seen anyone.
I often spent time with my family, which wasn’t bad, but I found myself relying on them because I lacked a social life.
Living alone made that feeling stronger. If I didn’t make the effort to go out and talk to people, I could spend the entire weekend in silence – except for talking to my cats.
It became a cycle: feeling isolated led to spending more time alone, and when I wanted to break out of it, I felt anxious about reaching out to others.
Friends are the Family You Choose
Joining The Great Friendship Project changed my life. I’ve been part of the group since the very beginning, and nearly three years later, the people I’ve met have become like family to me. I never expected to make the best friends of my life in my 30s, but that’s exactly what happened.
Being part of the group made me realise that I am an extrovert. It helped me rediscover the social skills I thought I had lost over the years.
It also helped me understand that just because my old friends were in a different stage of life didn’t mean those friendships were any less valuable – I just needed to find people who were in the same place as me.
Different Friendships for Different Moments
Through the group, I found friendships that meet different needs. There are people I go on adventures with, those I can call when I need support, and friends I can simply grab a coffee with.
So in a way I feel grateful I hit rock bottom with loneliness because it pushed me to seek something better. If I hadn’t have got to a point where I felt really alone, then I wouldn’t have just thrown myself out there to make the amazing friendships that I now have today.
*At the request of the writer, their name has been changed.
