Humans are social animals. Until approximately 12,000 years ago – we were hunter-gatherers, living in tribes and packs. We hunted, ate and rested together.
For most of human history, survival depended on social bonds with others, as we are naturally ill-equipped to survive alone.
As a result, we evolved to seek tribes, social groups and communities
to increase our chances of survival. Anyone exiled from a tribe was likely to die without the community’s support.
Today, we can see the legacy of our evolutionary biology in our experience of loneliness. When we feel lonely, our bodies go into “threat mode”, triggering the activation of a stress-related gene pattern that has two effects on the body:
⁃ An increase in the activity of pro-inflammatory genes
⁃ A decrease in the activity of genes involved in anti-viral responses.
This “threat mode” prepares our bodies for the likelihood of bacterial infections from wounds caused by predators and enemies. Without the protection of our tribe or community, we are more vulnerable.
This, in part, helps to explain some of the physical impacts of loneliness,
such as a reduction in the efficacy of our immune systems, diminished brain function, higher blood pressure and disrupted sleep.
Research by Professor John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago found that acute loneliness can cause our stress cortisol levels to increase to levels comparable to feeling unsafe or being physically attacked.
In the same way that physical pain draws attention to threats or damage to our physical health, feelings of loneliness draw attention to threats to our social health.
When hunger, thirst, and physical pain are ignored the ability to survive is compromised. If we are lonely, our biology tells us we are vulnerable to predators and that if we get sick, nobody will be there to help us so we should urgently get back to the group for our safety.
This helps us understand why loneliness so often comes alongside anxiety. “Evolution fashioned us not only to feel good when connected, but to feel secure,” Cacioppo writes.
“The vitally important corollary is that evolution shaped us not only to feel bad in isolation, but to feel insecure.”
Conversely, our/human brains have been wired to respond positively to social interactions. In 2016, researchers found evidence of the release of oxytocin (one of the happiness hormones) in primate brains during social interactions.
When we feel part of a community, we are more likely to feel safe, and to have a sense of belonging.
Cacioppo sought out people whose lifestyles have not evolved significantly from pre-industrial societies. He chose the Hutterites, in the Dakotas, United States. The Hutterites are a closed, religious farming community similar to the Amish. They live off the land and work, eat, worship and relax together.
Cacioppo worked with anthropologists who had studied the Hutterites for years, to measure loneliness among the group. He did this by measuring micro-awakenings. These are moments when we wake from sleep but don’t recall them in the morning.
There is a strong correlation between loneliness and micro-awakenings. Social animals like dogs and horses experience the same thing when they’re isolated.
The theory behind micro awakenings is that we don’t feel safe sleeping when we’re lonely as early humans were exposed to danger when sleeping apart from the tribe. When you know nobody’s got your back your brain won’t let you go into a deep sleep
Cacioppo’s team wired up the Hutterites to see how many micro awakenings they experienced. They had barely any and registered some of the lowest readings anywhere in the world.
Being part of a community has been shown to help support a deeper sense of identity, and to find purpose in participating in something bigger than oneself – adding depth and meaning to our lives.
Today we no longer live in tribes as we did thousands of years ago but in isolated flats and houses. Since the digital revolution, society has undergone a huge transformation and has become increasingly insular.
We’ve prioritised independence, freedom and choice over community and as a result, particularly in large cities such as London community can be hard to find. This situation has contributed to the loneliness epidemic we see today.
We need people and communities like bees need a hive. The Great Friendship Projects holds regular, shared activities where young people can connect and build a sense of community.
Through shared activity and building a sense of collective around common interests and life stages, we tackle loneliness and help young adults “find their tribe.”
