Proximity. Time. Shared experiences. These are three of the most important ingredients for building friendships.
At The Great Friendship Project – we see firsthand just how important these ingredients are in helping people form meaningful connections. And on paper, the workplace should offer all three.
We spend a significant proportion of our lives at work, often alongside the same people, working towards common goals and navigating shared challenges.
So why, despite all this, do 39% of young workers say they feel lonely at work?
It’s a question I recently had the opportunity to explore at the Zurich Global Benefits Summit, on a discussion about workplace loneliness and what employers can do to tackle it.
The conversation highlighted two challenges that I believe are particularly important: creating opportunities for meaningful connection and building workplace cultures where people feel safe being open about loneliness.
1. Designing Workplaces That Encourage Connection
For many of us, work has traditionally been one of the most natural places to form friendships.
When people regularly spend time together, share experiences and get to know each other beyond their immediate responsibilities, friendships can gradually develop.
But the way we work is changing.
With more employees working remotely, following hybrid schedules or coming into the office on different days, those everyday opportunities for connection are no longer guaranteed.
And even when people are physically together, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re connecting.
You can spend an entire day surrounded by colleagues, moving between meetings and completing tasks, without having a single meaningful conversation.
Part of the answer lies in building what we might call social infrastructure within the workplace.
That means creating the conditions where friendships can develop naturally, rather than simply expecting them to happen.
Employers can introduce clubs, interest groups and regular social activities that bring colleagues together beyond their immediate teams. They can create shared spaces where people feel comfortable spending time together, and encourage informal interactions that aren’t always centred around work.
Importantly, these opportunities shouldn’t feel like another obligation added to an already busy working day.
But alongside this, employers also need to recognise the importance of protecting time for relationships outside the workplace.
After all, our colleagues shouldn’t be expected to meet all our social needs. Friends, family, partners and wider communities are equally important to our wellbeing.
If people are constantly forced to choose between professional commitments and maintaining their personal relationships, that can create an additional barrier to connection.
There are other practical changes employers can make, too. For example, recognising and supporting the colleagues who naturally bring people together, rather than treating community-building as an unpaid extra.
Or asking employees how connected they feel, whether they have meaningful relationships at work, and what could help them feel a greater sense of belonging.
After all, if workplace connection really matters (which it does) – we should be measuring and investing in it just as we would any other organisational priority.
2. Creating a Culture Where It’s Safe to Talk About Loneliness
Of course, creating more opportunities for people to spend time together is only part of the solution. Because even when those opportunities exist, loneliness can be incredibly difficult to talk about.
It’s a particularly striking finding because it reveals something important about the stigma that still surrounds loneliness.
During our discussion, one audience member during the recent Zurich Summit raised a question that really stayed with me.
“How can employers encourage people to open up about loneliness when an employee might reasonably fear that admitting they feel isolated could be interpreted as a sign that they’re struggling to do their job, or that they’ve somehow failed to integrate into their team?”
It’s a very fair concern.
In many workplaces, there’s an expectation that employees should appear confident, sociable and comfortable within their teams.
Admitting that you’re lonely can feel like admitting that something is wrong, particularly if you’re worried about how colleagues or managers might perceive you.
And when people feel they have to hide how they’re really doing, it becomes much harder to build the kinds of authentic relationships that help protect against loneliness in the first place.
My answer was that leaders need to go first.
If we want employees to feel comfortable talking about loneliness, that openness needs to be modelled by the people setting the culture.
That means leaders being willing to acknowledge their own experiences of loneliness, isolation or difficulties building relationships.
It means demonstrating that vulnerability isn’t a weakness and that feeling lonely isn’t a reflection of someone’s professional competence or personal worth. And, crucially, it means listening without judgement.
When somebody does find the confidence to open up, the response they receive matters enormously.
If they’re met with empathy, understanding and practical support, it can help create an environment where others feel comfortable doing the same.
But if they’re dismissed, judged or made to feel that their honesty might be held against them, the message is very different.
Creating a genuinely supportive culture isn’t simply about encouraging people to speak up. It’s about showing, through everyday actions, that it’s safe for them to do so.
3. Making Loneliness Part of the Workplace Conversation
Over the past decade, we’ve made considerable progress in how we talk about mental health at work.
Conversations that might once have been considered uncomfortable or inappropriate are increasingly becoming part of everyday workplace culture.
More organisations are recognising the importance of employee wellbeing, investing in mental health support and encouraging staff to seek help when they need it.
But loneliness has yet to receive the same level of attention. Despite its impact on people’s wellbeing, sense of belonging and experience at work, it remains something many employees feel uncomfortable acknowledging.
And while employers can’t be expected to solve loneliness on their own, they have an important role to play.
They can create opportunities for friendships to develop, protect the time people need to maintain relationships, recognise the importance of social connection and cultivate an environment where people feel comfortable being themselves.
Above all, they can help challenge the idea that loneliness is something to be embarrassed about.
Because loneliness isn’t a personal failure. It’s a common human experience that can affect anyone, regardless of how confident, successful or socially connected they might appear.
We’ve made real progress in normalising conversations about mental health in the workplace. Now it’s time to make talking about loneliness just as normal.
And perhaps, by doing so, we can begin to make our workplaces not just places where people work alongside one another, but places where they genuinely feel they belong.
Want to Tackle Loneliness in Your Workplace?
Workplace loneliness doesn’t just affect individual wellbeing. It can also impact employee engagement, productivity, retention and the wider culture of an organisation.
To help employers tackle this challenge, we’ve developed a free Employers’ Toolkit for Tackling Workplace Loneliness, designed to help organisations recognise, address and prevent loneliness among their teams.
The guide includes a range of practical tips, advice and insights abiut employers can create more opportunities for meaningful connection and build a workplace culture where everyone feels they belong.
👉 Download our free Employers’ Toolkit and start building a more connected workplace today.
