Walking into a social event, whether it’s for The Great Friendship Project or something else in London, can feel both exciting and intimidating.
Will you click with anyone? What if the conversations feel awkward? These are all relatable worries but the good news is that everyone feels nerves at some point and there are simple ways to make events easier, more enjoyable and more rewarding.
Here are some tips to help you build genuine connections at social gatherings.
1) Remember why everyone’s there and assume they like you
One of the best things about The Great Friendship Project is that everyone is there with the same goal: to meet new people, build connections and have a good time. So you can relieve a lot of stress before you even walk into an event but just reminding yourself of this. You don’t have to arrive with a funny anecdote lined up, just being present is enough.
Aside from remembering that the person you’re speaking to probably has the same nerves as you, you should go into interactions assuming that people like you (because they probably do).
In fact, studies show that most of the time we are actually liked more than we think and when we believe somebody likes us we act warmer and friendlier towards them which is scientifically proven to build better connections and quicker.
2) Push through the small talk
Small talk can feel dull, but it is a natural first step. Allow a conversation to start with it as a short warm-up, but once you’ve asked where someone’s from or what they do, move into questions that spark more interesting conversations.
Try asking them about things they enjoy like their favourite spot in London, any music they’ve been listening to or something fun they’ve done recently. Open-ended questions naturally shift things from surface level to meaningful and it is likely that they will be thankful for the shift too.
3) Be open to unlikely friends and changing friendships
We often think friendships have to be with people who share the exact same interests as us and come from a similar background. But some of the strongest connections come from unexpected places. Being open to chatting with people from different backgrounds or perspectives can lead to refreshing conversations and friendships you didn’t see coming.
It’s also important to note that the people you make friends with on your first meet-up may not be the people you become the closest friends with. Sometimes common ground can make for good instant connections, but deeper connections may form when you don’t expect them to.
4) Connections take time, but don’t over-commit
As we’ve written before, building close friendships can take time with studies suggesting it takes more than 200 hours to create a bond with a close friend.
This means you’ve really got to stick with it if you really want a strong connection to come to fruition. Not every event will feel like you’ve got closer to someone, but consistency matters. The more you keep showing up, the more familiar faces you’ll see and the more natural conversations will become.
It can also be tempting to make extravagant, big plans with someone you click with early on, but you don’t need to rush building a connection. Before agreeing to a full-day outing within a week of meeting each other, suggest grabbing a quick coffee or even just attending the next Great Friendship Project event together. Keeping it simple makes it easier to follow through and gradually strengthen the connection.
5) Follow up afterwards
Connections don’t have to end when the event does. If you’ve enjoyed a good chat with someone, follow up on it. That could be suggesting to grab a drink before going home, or even something as simple as exchanging numbers or connecting on social media. Just dropping a quick message can show your interest and helps turn a one-off connection into something lasting.
Often just showing up is the hardest part but after the first hello, things usually get much easier. You can always step outside if you feel too overwhelmed but every event is a step forward.
Friendships aren’t made in a single evening but by showing up, keeping an open mind and giving connections time to grow you’ll find that awkward beginnings gradually turn into genuine friendships. At The Great Friendship Project, everyone is there to build connections and grow friendships, so you’re already in a pool of people with a common interest
