The Science of Friendship

We draw upon decades of scientific research, as well as our own lived experience to improve outcomes for young people’s health and happiness.

In 1938, Harvard University embarked on a groundbreaking longitudinal study of happiness.

As part of this, they tracked 100’s of research participants over 85 years. The study showed that as participants approached the end of their lives, it was the strength of relationships that had contributed significantly more to their happiness than did wealth and success.

This is supported by decades of research that have consistently shown that friendships play a crucial role in overall well-being.

In fact research suggests friendship accounts for almost 60 percent increase in levels of happiness between individuals and the equivalent of an extra $150,000 a year in income.

Long-Term Impact

While we may all feel lonely from time to time, but when loneliness becomes chronic, it can have a devastating impact on our health and wellbeing, now understood to be comparable to 15 cigarettes per day.

However, fortunately – most forms of loneliness and these impacts can be largely tackled through the building of meaningful social connections and friendships.

They also can be effective protector against loneliness in the long-term and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. There is also a strong relationship between the social connections young adults have and their emotional health later in life.

The social connections you form as a young adult are also incredibly influential in ensuring you have quality connections in later life, as research shows that your social circle sharply drops by nearly half – after the age of 25, with the largest drop-off in friends in the life course often occurring when people get married and have children.

How do you Build Friendships?

There are many factors related to building and sustaining friendships, from having shared interests, providing emotional support when it’s needed, to trusting and confiding in each other.

Perhaps the most important component in building friendship however, is time investment.

Evolutionary Psychologist and Friendship expert, Robin Dunbar estimates that around 34 hours of investment are needed to transition a relationship from a superficial acquaintance to a casual friendship.

His research suggests we need roughly 11 interactions lasting about three hours each within a period of less than six months. To form a close friendship, over 200 hours are needed.

Once created, research suggests friendships need about one hour a week (or nine minutes of connection a day), either online or offline to be sustained. For every nine minutes missed, the quality of the friendship is said to diminish by 1%.


Community’s Role in Friendships

Community has also been shown to play a key role in building friendship, with Dunbar’s research finding that male friendships, in particular are most commonly fostered through activities, events, or clubs.

However, science also shows that we are more likely to people like us more if they see us regularly. This is known as the “mere exposure effect” and describes our tendency to develop preferences for things simply because we are familiar with them.

One study demonstrated this effect by planting strangers in a college class, for a varying number of classes. The strangers didn’t interact with the students.

Yet, students reported liking the stranger who showed up for many classes more than the one who showed up for fewer. Students rated the likeability of the stranger who showed up to the class the most 20% higher than the one who showed up the least.

And according to Professor Gillian Sandstrom, even connections with acquaintances can be surprisingly sustaining. Sandstrom’s research has found that people who have more (even simple) social interactions with acquaintances, tended to be happier and particularly on the days that they had such interactions.

Developing a Conscious Practice

Like any skill left unpractised, our ability to “make new friends” can atrophy if not utilised. With the increase of remote working and fewer opportunities for social connection, the skills needed to make new friends are harder to maintain. Along with our confidence to meet new people.

The good news is, like any skill, we can improve simply through regular interaction with new people.

Research has demonstrated that talking to strangers can make us feel more positive, less awkward, and more confident.

Our Solution

It is for all these reasons, that we provide community activities to provide opportunities where young adults can not just connect and meet new people, but build meaningful, supportive and long-term friendships.

We run these regularly throughout the week to ensure they can maintain the momentum with the connections they are forming; momentum we recognise is necessary to turn acquaintances into friendship.

In a city as big as London where it’s rare to see the same person twice by chance, through these activities, our online spaces and shared experiences – we have built a community where friendships can not just form – but flourish.

Above all, we aim to help young adults to foster a “love of socialising” and a develop a conscious practice of building friendships and connections, through regular and interactions that foster a positive attitude to meeting new people.

Come as strangers.

Leave as friends.