I’m Oscar. Six years ago, I moved to London with a close friend from home, to study Music Production at university.

After graduating, I became self-employed as I pursued a career in music production, working from home.

Initially, it seemed ideal – being able to focus on my passion in a comfortable space but it quickly became isolating.

As an introvert, I saw moving in with a friend as an excuse not to put myself out there and meet new people in the city.

I convinced myself that having one familiar face was enough, but deep down, I knew I was avoiding the challenge of connecting with others.

Then everything fell apart – my girlfriend broke up with me, had a falling out with the close friend I was living with, who then moved away.

Loneliness had been a bit of a recurring theme throughout my life – a kind of quiet, persistent presence, even in a room full of people.  

Sometimes, it has felt like watching life happen through a window, close enough to see but never quite part of it.

Alone in the City

But this time, those feelings were really intensified. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, which made the isolation even harder to bear – to the point that there were days when getting out of bed felt like a battle, and the silence of my flat was deafening.

I was suddenly alone in a city that had never felt lonelier. I realised that without my small support circle, I had no one left to turn to.

I knew I needed to do something about it but at the same time, I felt too anxious to do anything about it.

I was struggling even with how you even make friends in your 20s, when you’re not at university and you’re not at a workplace every day?

It felt at the time like a bit of an existential crisis, just thinking, “Is this going to be the rest of my life? How do I actually make friends and enjoy my life?”

And yet, I’d see on social media others seeming to effortlessly maintain friendships and social lives while I retreated further into myself.

The evenings were definitely the hardest – you compare yourself to other people, seeing them out with their friends and on social media others seeming to effortlessly maintain friendships and social lives while I retreated further into myself.

For me, Friday and Saturday nights were the worst as the fear of missing out was overwhelming.

Eventually, I decided to Google, “How do you make friends in London in your 20s?” and that’s how I found The Great Friendship Project.

I noticed that they hosted free or low-cost events three or four times a week and thought that was exactly what I needed.

Taking the First Step Toward Connection

So started going through their events and came across a Jenga night they were hosting that Friday night and I thought, “What do I have to lose?”

But in the hours leading up to that first event, I was in cold sweats and dry heaving from the thought of attending and managed to talk myself out of going multiple times, before eventually forcing myself to go.

And sat down at a table of strangers and introduced myself and to my surprise, I felt comfortable the whole time I was there.

It was the first time in months that I felt genuinely connected to others, even if just for a few hours and had a great night playing the games.

On the back of it, I told myself that if I kept going, at least once a week, then inevitably, I would make friends and so I started attending as many events as I could – trying to soak it all up.

And then slowly but surely, I just started making friends one by one, and then those individual connections I made started to form a group.

Finding Friendship, Confidence, and a New Path

That group turned out to be a really lovely friend group, who I still see regularly today and I’ve done all sorts of fun things with since joining back in 2023.

Since then, I’ve also noticed my loneliness has lessened significantly. I recently started a new relationship, and along with my friendships from the group, it’s made a huge difference in my life. I no longer dread weekends alone.

It has also really helped me build confidence. I’ve realised that my desire to connect with others is stronger than my anxiety.

Before, I thought being outgoing was an act, but now I understand that it’s a real part of me that I hadn’t recognised before.

It also inspired me to become part of other communities too, as my confidence has grown and I’ve found the courage to pursue other interests and expand my network in ways I never thought possible.

My passion remains music production. I currently work as a DJ for events and pubs, a job I found through my step-dad but my ultimate goal is to create and perform my own music as an artist, or work in sound design or film scoring.

Music has always been my greatest outlet, and now, with the confidence I’ve gained, I now feel ready to take steps toward those dreams.

When I feel low, I have strategies to cope – things I’ve learned through therapy, like picking up my guitar to write music, cooking, cleaning, or going for walks around Fulham and Putney parks.

These small acts help me stay grounded and remind me that I have tools to manage my mental health. Music remains my refuge, and creating something from my emotions often brings me peace.

So for me joining the project was a turning point – it helped me build lasting friendships, improve my mental health, and rediscover joy.

The person I am today feels miles away from the isolated version of myself who hesitated to leave the house.